You feel it. God is asking you to end something, to lay something down, to walk away. You have done all you can to hang onto it. You’ve prayed. You’ve sought wise counsel. You’ve gone to your therapist. Is it Biblical to step away from a project, a role , a relationship, a job? So many factors enter into these decisions and our decisions should not be entered lightly or without much prayer and wise counsel.

I’ve been there many times throughout the last few decades of my life. It never gets easier. But, I have learned so much each time I participated with God’s plan to move forward. First, the scripture that always comforts and challenges me when facing a transition is Ecclesiastes 3:1-8: (emphasis mine)

To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to break down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to count as lost, a time to keep and a time to discard ,a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, …

As I read this passage, I am comforted by the contrast of the seasons we face. It is impossible for me to deny that endings, parting, quitting, leaving and removing ourselves are normal and covered by God’s grace in our lives. In our humanness, we want to rush ahead at the slightest hint that we are being released forward. From my own personal experience, I would encourage you to move slowly. If you are facing a major ending in your life, please connect to your pastor and counselor.

The concept of pruning is also helpful as we consider stepping away. God allows both good branches to be pruned, dead branches to be pruned and unhealthy branches to be pruned in our lives in order to make way for MORE fruit.

We cannot face an ending without facing loss. Even endings we want require acknowledging loss, change and the need to grieve. Have you ever sent a child to Kindergarten or college? Have you ever retired from a job? Have you ever left one job for another step in your career pathway? Each of these are normal and good things, but involve the loss of what was. If we haven’t spent time actively pursuing grieving, it is likely we risk bringing something unhealthy into our new season.

Here are two quotes that have challenged and comforted me when facing the decision to step away from something that has served me well and I have loved:

From Henry Cloud in Necessary Endings “The good cannot begin until the bad ends.”

Dr. Caroline Leaf: “It’s ok to be sad about the right decision.”

When we face endings, it’s important to act in obedience to the actions God places before you. While endings are inevitable, ending well is something you can control. This will involve making sure your heart isn’t hard, being well into an authentic grieving process, working through forgiveness and having honest conversations with all involved. If you are facing an invitation into the unknown by leaving something behind, I would be honored to pray for you. Please leave a prayer request in the comments, or reach out direction to me at https://ljallencoaching.com/contact/

Share this:

12 Comments

  1. Such a good blog today Lisa. Thank you for sharing. I had to end my marriage back in 2017 because of emotional abuse, neglect and mental abuse. I am glad that I walked away from it and into a life God has called me to be. I went to school and got my degree in social work and am working at what I love. Caring for the elderly and people in need. Hope you have a wonderful day.

    1. Thanks Jeanie. I see God has blessed that obedience and opened new doors for you. Thank you for being a beacon of light to others. Pausing to pray for you right now.

  2. Thank you! I am in a time of “Clearing my plate” which doesn’t mean fast or scraped into the trash. It hopefully means Delicately lovingly raising up new leaders in succession planning. The blessing on the next generation of leaders. Remembering I when we disciple others to grow that the leaving for the next season becomes easier and less of a tug-o-war.
    Grateful for prayers for the transitions and reaching for the Springtime of the calling.

    1. Oh Christie I love this verbiage of cleaning the plate but not scraped into trash. God redeems things and makes them beautiful. I respect your focus on succession planning as well. Too few leaders are willing to work on that transition plan. Pausing right now to pray for you my friend.

  3. I’ve been a single mom for 10 years. In the past year my oldest daughter has gotten married and my youngest has gone 6 hours away to college. The loneliness is overwhelming at times but I am so proud and thankful for the Godly women they’ve turned out to be. I now have to figure out what’s next for me.

    1. Monica, well done on raising those two amazing women of God. I know you’re so proud of them and they of you. God is always making something new in our lives when a door is closed. Pausing right now to pray God would reveal his opened doors ahead for you. LMK if you would like to chat through some things that help in transition periods.

  4. I lost my mom in June. I don’t even know what grieving well looks like. I worked with her, my brother, and sister in law in a family business. I’m not only grieving the loss of mom, but also the business that has been a driving force in my life. My family does not communicate well and I am struggling to hear from the Lord about the direction that I should go now. Please pray for me as I have to decide how to move forward. Stay in the business or step away? It feels strange without mom. I’m touchy where mom, the business, and many things are concerned. Overwhelmed, sad, and scared is how I am feeling. Prayers are appreciated. I trust my God. He has a plan. I am
    Afraid.

    1. I am so sorry for your loss Kelly. I lost my dad around the same time as I made a major professional transition. The grief of each of those transitions is still fresh two years later. Do you have a pastor or counselor that can walk through this with you as spiritual advisor? Grief is like walking through peanutbutter. It is a slow process and should be carefully maneuvered. I am praying for you right now. Father, please remove Kelly’s fear in the midst of grief. Help her feel all of her emotions of sadness. Give her your peace that passes understanding in the midst of fear and sadness. Give her overwhelming assurance that you are with her every every step of the way. Please LMK if you need to pray together via phone sometime.

  5. I need help. I know I need to let something go. The stress is affecting my health .
    Pray for me. I don’t have the courage to even listen to God because I don’t want to lose any of it-volunteer work, caring for 2 family members and a friend. Facilitating Bible study, serving on committees (3), keeping grandchildren x4 days a week, working part time the other 2 days. Church on Sunday!!!

    1. Thank you for being honest Mary. You are more than aware that something needs to come off of your plate. You are also honest that you don’t want to let go of any of them. You can do it all, just not all at once. Praying that the Lord will reveal what he is wanting you to lay down to create margin in your emotion, your calendar and health. Asking God to show you how he will use that margin to restore your peace of mind, lower your stress and protect your health. We cancel the plans of the enemy who likes us to stay busy to the point of exhaustion. We believe these prayers will be answered. Amen. I specialize in working with women like you. Please LMK if you want to consider coaching for this season of your life.

Comments are closed.