When Nostalgia Meets Grief

Many of you are like me—I’m already decorated for Christmas.
(Pause. Don’t stop reading if we part ways here—I promise this isn’t an editorial on November Christmas décor!)

This year, as I unpacked boxes of ornaments and decorations from our children’s childhood, I found myself making three piles:

• A special pile of toy-style ornaments for our grandson’s little four-foot tree in the office. They’re sturdy and made of hard plastic—perfect for him to play with and hang on the tree himself without worry.
• A pile for our 33-year-old daughter, lovingly packaged to pass along for her and her husband’s tree.
• A pile for our 31-year-old son, carefully boxed for him and his wife’s tree.

As I sorted through them, memories flooded in. Musical ornaments reminded me of our daughter’s concerts, football games, and the trips tied to her middle school, high school, and college band years.

Then came the Carolina Panther candy canes, tiny stadium seats, and golf, basketball, and football ornaments that belonged to our son. Each one brought back moments of cheering for him—#31 on the football field—winning the middle school basketball three-point contest, and middle school golf.

And then, tucked among it all, I found a special Santa. For decades, he sat in my mom and dad’s kitchen, and now he sits in my family room. Seeing him brought back memories of their downsizing—the moment he came to live with me—and of my dad’s joy in decorating for Christmas. He loved hanging bulbs in doorways, arranging Advent wreaths, and lighting luminaries on Christmas Eve.

No doubt my love for early decorating comes from him. We lost him in 2021, and this is where nostalgia meets grief. I paused, holding that Santa, thinking about the man he was and how much I miss him.

All of these memories represent the joy of what was—but also the loss of seasons and people who will never return. When nostalgia turns to grief, it often stirs other losses buried beneath the surface. So I pause and pray under the glow of the tree, reminded of Psalm 34:18:

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.”

And in Matthew 5, Jesus reminds us that He blesses those who mourn and comforts them.

So let me ask—what are you grieving today?

• The loss of a marriage?
• The loss of a loved one?
• The loss of a pet?
• The loss of a friendship?
• The loss of energy as your body changes?
• The loss of a career opportunity?
• The loss of a dream?

I’ve learned that I must feel in order to heal in these grieving spaces.

If you’ve recently lost someone, it might be too soon to unpack the nostalgic decorations—and that’s okay. Give yourself permission to wait. Lean on those around you who are safe spaces for your heart.

Because when nostalgia meets grief, God meets us there too—with comfort, closeness, and the quiet reminder that love is what made it all matter in the first place.